or just a little whinge.

Dear self,

So you’re over 30 weeks pregnant, that leaves just 10 weeks left, and you’re thinking can I do this? You’re also going a little crazy. Whinging and worrying about everything, but guess what? It is going to be fine. Do not press backspace, that sentence is true, move on before you start second guessing yourself!

Your back hurts, and so does your legs, feet and you feel sick and dizzy, blah blah blah but you know this nothing to what is it come. Labour! You’ve watched uncountable episodes of One Born Every Minute, read books, watched YouTube videos, and what have you learnt? Every labour is different, and that scares the hell out of you! There is no step by step plan this time lovely, but hundreds of thousands of women do this every day, you will have a baby at the end of it. Time to tell yourself it will be fine. The pain during, fine, the pain after, fine, your first trip to the toilet afterwards FINE!

But whilst we’re on the topic of being in pain, it is the middle of the year, which only means one thing for people like your sniffing, itchy-eye, sneezing self. Hayfever, okay, I’ll give you this one. It is terrible, it is awful, you feel horrible after being attacked by pollen in the morning, afternoon and evening. Washing your face feels like heaven, but only for five whole minutes, and you can’t take a damn thing. But no one else cares, so grin it and bare it, it’ll calm down soon, just keep sniffing that bloody salt water stuff and admire the garden from the window! Hey, at least your not throwing up every day anymore! Just now and then, that’s not so bad right?

On another note, you’re feeling massive, you’re the heaviest you’ve ever been, but what did you expect?! You have a human, a beautiful one at that, growing inside you, which amazes you everyday, like wow how the hell does that happen people!?! Also, please stop calling yourself a whale!

You’re feeling massive, but it is totally acceptable, your pregnant and does it matter that people say your huge, and you just smile and think yeah, I have 10 weeks left I probably won’t fit through the front door soon, but you all think my bump is cute, thanks guys! (You actually love that one!) I mean if you’re so damn big, why don’t people offer you seats on the bus yet, or just move out the way! So you can’t be THAT big!

Your friends, family, the old ladies at work, they can all look and touch, but if one more stranger stares at your huge belly one more time, you are going to get that hilarious shirt printed that says WHAT THE F*** YOU LOOKING AT, that will stop the lookers, or you will get a punch in the face, but who would punch a pregnant woman?

Speaking of getting bigger, boobs, nipples, nipple cream, breast feeding. Okay, I can’t really help with this one. There is a rally of proud breast feeding women all over the world, we are awesome that we can feed our children with our boobs, so it’ll be fine. right? But will your nipples really crack? Cracks are evil, they appear in your house, and it falls apart right? and nipple cream? Why is it so expensive, can someone please tell me, may you should Google that one. Sorry.

So I would like to end this letter on a sensitive note, I feel bad saying this to you. You’re terrified aren’t you, of dedicating your life to someone else. You think that sounds awful, of course you do. But lets try remember you may not have complete freedom anymore, you can’t just go out whenever you want, go to bed when you want, shower when you want, but you are starting a new exciting life, get over it, you had 27 years of you, 10 of them adventuring with your husband, but now you and him (yes they’ll be two of you doing this) have created a life together and you will give him the most exciting life you could ever imagine, so once again get over yourself. You really are doing something amazing, and please write again in the future, let me know how it goes.

Love,

Me and Jacob xxxx

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